that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
