I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize