It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
