so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
