bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I want to stick my p in your. b.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
