Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
no, he came in my armpit
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
