I can't watch pbs sober anymore
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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