sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Randomize
