I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
