i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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