she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
