Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
