A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
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