im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
This girl is more easily done than said...
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize