i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize