my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
