I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
