If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
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