Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
