I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
