okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
