awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Randomize
