Having a random hookup so left but love u
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
