so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
