my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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