She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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