There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
