worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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