in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
