so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
