and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize