i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
People with herpes should wear stickers.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Randomize
