he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
