Betty ford says i'm here all night
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
