At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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