Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Yo dont text me then not text me
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
