Welp...herpes.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
