Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
