Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
