You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I think your dad took our porno
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Randomize
