So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
where does the pee come out of this thing
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
She's like a pop up book from hell.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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