ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
