so explain again why im purple
no
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
