so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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