Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
