Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Drake has all the answers
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
