guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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