You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
