i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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