Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
