Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I just found puke in my bra..
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
