you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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