soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
