Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize