I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I smell like Dick and happiness
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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