So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
