do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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