Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
