i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
