I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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