Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
