She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
