My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Two words: blizzard sex
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
