I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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